27/4/17 – Just a few mishaps

Latest get-up yet, at just after nine. Had to hurry a little to get ready as breakfast finishes at ten. At least that was the plan. The oldies had already gone down to eat, so we were still catching up. On the way over, we found a giant bearded dragon type lizard on the rocks in front of the lobby – had honestly thought he was a statue when we saw the shape of him the other day – so I stopped to take pictures of him. Just as I was walking away, I tripped up the kerb a little. Kel was busy laughing at me and then full on fell in a hole in the grass and twisted her ankle. Now that was definitely Jesus at work. I ran down to the breakfast hall to let the oldies know about the hold up. Dad took Kel a makeshift ice pack and then we helped her down to breakfast before it closed.

Dad came round with me when I was getting food and I had to pick out things that Kel would want for him to put on a plate. I got a cheese quesadilla, sauteed potatoes, bacon, frankfurtas and nachos for myself, followed by a pancake with strawberry syrup and a waffle quarter with Nutella. After breakfast, I helped Kel to find some sunbeds, then went back to the room to sun cream up, pack both our beach bags and take them down to the pool. Kel did her sun cream in the toilets.

Even though it was cloudy most of the day, it was still over thirty degrees and very humid. The sun would come out for brief spurts throughout the day and when it did, it was scorching hot. Had to have quite a few dips in the pool (and even more margaritas and strawberry daiquiris) to cope. I was finding it difficult to concentrate on writing in the heat, so I read more instead. Took great amusement in watching the aqua gym in the pool, mostly because of two young American guys who were getting far too into it, particularly when they had to do races of carrying each other bridal style. Very amusing.

We broke for lunch and I had the usual suspects. Mm nearly died when I accidentally flicked my fork across the table and thew lots of rice at Kel in the process. Oops. This kind of stuff happens to me, alright? Back out to the sun for more reading and attempts at writing. I fold my notebook in half when I’m writing, so I didn’t really want to rest it on my sweaty legs. Managed to get some pages done though. A bit later on, after more cocktails, me and Kel decided we wanted to try out the snack bar – probably because it was right behind us. Had some fries and some nachos with cheese sauce, mmm. Sadly, couldn’t sit by the pool with it, so had to rejoin the oldies after we’d eaten.

Came back up to the room after to shower and furiously write some more pages in between getting ready. I also tried to do myself a vodka and lemonade from the optics, but it was so strong that I barely drank any of it. In the fridge for later, methinks! Tea was pretty much the usual routine, followed by joining the bar area afterwards for some drinks and entertainment. Unfortunately, the entertainment was a bit tragic. It was a mariachi band, who didn’t look at all happy to be there and just kept going on and on. They’d announce the last song, then they’d just keep playing. They did it three times before we decided to give up and go back to the rooms.

Me and Kel were much happier fending for ourselves in the room and watched a bunch of Improv-a-Ganza clips on my iPod, particularly New Choice ones. God, I miss this show. Kel then watched some of James Corden’s show, whilst I half watched and half wrote before bed. It’s still weird that he’s so big over here. He’ll always be Smithy to us, but sadly, Americans would never get the pure comic genius of Gavin and Stacey.

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Big fat lizards are otherwise known as omens of falling over.

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26/4/17 – Living in the shadows

Woke up at a much more acceptable eight o”clock today. Got ready to go down to breakfast. Sausage, bacon, cheese quesadilla, nachos with habanero sauce and a ham and cheese mini burrito. Followed it up with a pancake and waffle quarter, both covered in Nutella, mmm. And a glass of pineapple juice, of course. We popped back up to the room to get sun creamed up and I discovered just how badly I’d sunburnt yesterday. Shoulders, chest, legs, belly and feet. Ow. That was on double the factor I’d usually use too. There’s clearly something deadly about Mexican sun.

So deadly, in fact, that when we got down to the pool, we immediately picked out sunbeds in the shade. Never have I ever taken to the shade on just the second day of a holiday before. But even in the shade, it was just so hot. Kel had burnt even worse than me, so she stayed with me in the shade and we stayed there all day, bar moving to other sunbeds that were even more in the shade. It really was one of those days.

Started the day off with margaritas once the bar opened at ten. A tour guide called Enzo was chatting and joking with us for a while. Some of his trips sounded really interesting – like swimming with manatees and whale sharks! – but his leaflets were very heavy with photos and sparse with any information, so that wasn’t too handy. Not to mention we hadn’t actually brought many pesos with us, what with the whole all-inclusive thing, so we had to be a bit sparing with them. Did some writing and reading, then the next rep person to come round was called Joshua and was taking reservations for Coco Bongos. As this was something we’d already wanted to do, we happily signed up for the higher tier package, which is basically an all-inclusive, glorified bar crawl. Score.

After more writing, as well as a Mai Tai and a strawberry daiquiri, we had a little dip in the pool to cool off. It was only somewhat refreshing, as absolutely no part of the pool was in the shade, so it wasn’t as cool as we would have liked. The oldies came back from their shopping, so we went for lunch in the main buffet restaurant. Mash, spicy potato wedges, more nachos with some cheese sauce, cheese and onion pizza and of course, rice. The rice I’d picked turned out to not be the spesh rice that I like, so I went back up to get the proper rice and had more mash and potato wedges whilst I was at it, mmm.

After lunch, it was back to holing up in the shade, but not before grabbing another margarita. Cue the usual more writing and more reading. One of the guys who was collecting empty glasses came round and I told him he couldn’t have my full one, so later on when my half full glass was the only one on the table, he purposely came and asked if he could take it. Not happening; take anything but my drink! We also had one of the rep girls come round and tell us to catch the show on the entertainment stage tonight, which she would only describe as ‘crazy’. Sounds intriguing.

We went back up to the apartment around five to shower. Thanks to my stupid lack of straighteners, I had to attempt to dry my hair as straight as possible. It didn’t work too great, mostly due to the fact of my fringe drying so that it looked like a helmet. Since my straighteners had been working for a few minutes before cutting out yesterday, I decided to try using them to at least do my fringe before they started beeping at me. Semi happy. Did a little more writing in the room before going for food. Usual kind of rice, mash and potato mixes, as well as stewed chickpeas and a very rich pulled lamb stew.

We moved to the bar afterwards, where I had a tequila sunrise. We were then treated to the ‘crazy’ show that we’d been told about. Oh my god, they weren’t kidding. It started off just playing Nature Boy from Moulin Rouge, which had me and Kel all giddy. It then went into Lady Marmalade and four men came out dressed to the nines as Pink, Christina Aguilera, Missy Elliot and Lil Kim, lip syncing and getting very into their dancing to it. Freaking hilarious! It then basically turned into lip sync extreme. Dozens of short ‘sketches’ of the different entertainment guys lip syncing and dancing to different songs whilst dressed as the relevant performer. Some were hilarious and some actually had seriously good choreography; not to mention all the crazy fast costume changes it entailed between songs. Clearly so much time and effort went into it and it was so worth it. Brilliant show. Highlights included four different looks of Bruno Mars doing Uptown Funk together, the Blues Brothers and one of the guys wearing tights on his head to look like Pitbull. The star performer was easily ┬áchunky guy who dressed as all the women, like Cher, Nicole Kidman and Gloria Gaynor.

We had another drink afterwards – I had a mango daiquiri, mmm – and hen we came back to the rooms. We put some music on and I did more writing before bed. Gotta be a good little writer if I’m so determined to get my word counts done before the end of the month!

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Diamonds are a man’s best friend, apparently!