27/4/17 – Just a few mishaps

Latest get-up yet, at just after nine. Had to hurry a little to get ready as breakfast finishes at ten. At least that was the plan. The oldies had already gone down to eat, so we were still catching up. On the way over, we found a giant bearded dragon type lizard on the rocks in front of the lobby – had honestly thought he was a statue when we saw the shape of him the other day – so I stopped to take pictures of him. Just as I was walking away, I tripped up the kerb a little. Kel was busy laughing at me and then full on fell in a hole in the grass and twisted her ankle. Now that was definitely Jesus at work. I ran down to the breakfast hall to let the oldies know about the hold up. Dad took Kel a makeshift ice pack and then we helped her down to breakfast before it closed.

Dad came round with me when I was getting food and I had to pick out things that Kel would want for him to put on a plate. I got a cheese quesadilla, sauteed potatoes, bacon, frankfurtas and nachos for myself, followed by a pancake with strawberry syrup and a waffle quarter with Nutella. After breakfast, I helped Kel to find some sunbeds, then went back to the room to sun cream up, pack both our beach bags and take them down to the pool. Kel did her sun cream in the toilets.

Even though it was cloudy most of the day, it was still over thirty degrees and very humid. The sun would come out for brief spurts throughout the day and when it did, it was scorching hot. Had to have quite a few dips in the pool (and even more margaritas and strawberry daiquiris) to cope. I was finding it difficult to concentrate on writing in the heat, so I read more instead. Took great amusement in watching the aqua gym in the pool, mostly because of two young American guys who were getting far too into it, particularly when they had to do races of carrying each other bridal style. Very amusing.

We broke for lunch and I had the usual suspects. Mm nearly died when I accidentally flicked my fork across the table and thew lots of rice at Kel in the process. Oops. This kind of stuff happens to me, alright? Back out to the sun for more reading and attempts at writing. I fold my notebook in half when I’m writing, so I didn’t really want to rest it on my sweaty legs. Managed to get some pages done though. A bit later on, after more cocktails, me and Kel decided we wanted to try out the snack bar – probably because it was right behind us. Had some fries and some nachos with cheese sauce, mmm. Sadly, couldn’t sit by the pool with it, so had to rejoin the oldies after we’d eaten.

Came back up to the room after to shower and furiously write some more pages in between getting ready. I also tried to do myself a vodka and lemonade from the optics, but it was so strong that I barely drank any of it. In the fridge for later, methinks! Tea was pretty much the usual routine, followed by joining the bar area afterwards for some drinks and entertainment. Unfortunately, the entertainment was a bit tragic. It was a mariachi band, who didn’t look at all happy to be there and just kept going on and on. They’d announce the last song, then they’d just keep playing. They did it three times before we decided to give up and go back to the rooms.

Me and Kel were much happier fending for ourselves in the room and watched a bunch of Improv-a-Ganza clips on my iPod, particularly New Choice ones. God, I miss this show. Kel then watched some of James Corden’s show, whilst I half watched and half wrote before bed. It’s still weird that he’s so big over here. He’ll always be Smithy to us, but sadly, Americans would never get the pure comic genius of Gavin and Stacey.


Big fat lizards are otherwise known as omens of falling over.


29/9/15 – Bye bye birdie

I made sure we woke up with plenty of time for breakfast today. Since Kel clearly can’t be trusted with snooze button duty, I had to use my own alarm. I have switched back to my ‘secret party’ tone though, which is always fun. Got ready, dropped our towels on some sunbeds first like usual, then hit the food hall. It’s been a while, breakfast – I’ve missed you. I had bacon, frankfurta, chips and a kind of one-sided ham and cheese toastie thing. All the yummies.

It was super hot today. Easily the best sun yet. It makes me a little sad though when it’s so hot that I have to keep switching between sunbathing and hiding in shade or water. Can’t I just tan the whole time please? We had to have several breaks to chill in the balcony pools. Suddenly the fact that they’re freezing cold didn’t seem like such a problem anymore. The heat even meant I started off having to have more pop than alcohol to stay nice and hydrated. Perish the thought.

At one point, it got so hot that even after another dip in the pool, we weren’t prepared to venture back out into the sun, so we had to sit under the canopy by the snack bar for a little while. We then decided that this would be a good time for lunch. Cue all the rice, pizza, some bolognese pasta, beefs cuts with some kind of sauce and what tasted like a Chinese style of pork. Of course, seconds were in order, so I had more pork and chips and was thankfully able to make the most of more rice. If I’d seen anyone trying to take it away early this time, I’d have been chopping off some hands.

As we were eating, I found myself in the stage where I couldn’t decide if I was developing a headache or a migraine. I’m getting really fed up of this malarky. I really don’t want to be taking my meds every day – that surely can’t be good for me. I chanced it on headache and stuck to painkillers and a few sweets from my bag (for some reason, particular kinds of sweets seem to help when I have a bad head; probably because of the sugar). Thankfully, I made a good guess and it soon cleared up as the painkillers kicked in. I felt happy to head back out into the sun. I was insistent on sticking to my sunbed this time. Did more reading and wrote another short story. I’m on a roll!

When the sun had gone in and then stayed in for quite a while, I headed back to the room for my usual Red Bull relaxation time before showering. Kel put another Fruits Basket episode on whilst I was doing my hair and then we kinda watched but mostly listened to Improv-a-Ganza clips whilst getting ready. It says a lot that we can now just listen to them without having to watch to know what’s happening. That Kazakhstan Taratino musical though… I wore another of my pineapple playsuits, as well as my new big pineapple heels that I’ve been trying to practice to walk in for quite a while now. I’m gonna have to be especially careful with plates. If I fall over when carrying food, then that’ll be genuine reason to cry.

Food tonight was of course rice, chips, pizza, bolognese pasta, small cuts of steak, Chinese style pieces of chicken and pork steak with Gran Canaria sauce, which tasted like it was primarily made of garlic. I had seconds for more rice, chicken and pork. I skipped pudding this time, as it always makes my sangria taste funny. It says a lot when I prioritise alcohol over pudding. Moved onto the entertainment room for more drinks and, well, entertainment. First up, was a parrot show with various macaws that rode scooters, rollerskates and would ring a bell the exact amount of times you asked it to. The guy also brought three of them round for people to have photos with. I got a scarlet macaw on one shoulder, a little grey one on the other and then a blue and yellow macaw to hold in my hands on its back like a baby. I’m not a big fan of birds, but that was adorable.

After the show, we got chatting to a couple from Cheshire called Cath and Jamie. They were probably in their forties. Learnt that Cath works for the council and Jamie travels around doing repairs on various vehicles and ships. We always seem to meet people who have such interesting jobs. They were really funny and we ended up talking to them all night. They share our love of food, so we clearly got along well. Jamie helped us out with some answers on our new movie quiz too. This one was way harder with rounds of having to guess from movie frames, edited posters and obscure versions of score music that sounded almost nothing like the original pieces. I have no idea how, but I knew the Breakfast At Tiffany’s poster. And I was geeky and able to pinpoint Armageddon just from one shot of Steve Buscemi and Michael Clarke Duncan, before they even showed the rest of the clip. Told you movies are my forte. Despite the fact that it was much tougher, we actually won! It was funny as our team name was Where’s Larry, so Patrik was then asking who Larry was. Sadly, nobody from the audience shouted LARRY, which is the response I would have liked. Boo you, uneducated crowd.

We headed back to our room after Cath and Jamie did, armed with many drinks this time. Obviously we’d done another last minute drink run before the all-inclusive ended. We’re savvy with scavving the free drinks, duh. We had a drink and more watching of Fruits Basket in the room before bed. I’m liking this new late night development. Geeks who drink, yo.

8/11/13 – This is the story about the day I died (i.e. totally party!)

The first chunk of our day was pretty chilled and non-eventful, but all necessary in leading up to our wonderful and gloriously spazzy evening! Polished off most of our pizza for breakfast and then headed out. The drive to Chico was about two and half hours – cue more That Anime Show. We checked in and then alternated between Skyping Sid and the oldies pretty much all afternoon. We then got ready for the night we’d both been dying for. I got all weird and stupidly shaky over the idea of it and couldn’t even pluck my eyebrows properly. How annoying! We went to Mo’s Smokehouse BBQ for a quick tea and I had a yummy BBQ turkey sandwich.

When we got into the stage I was literally jumping with anticipation (as well as slapping Kel in excitement). When they were introduced on stage my heart was pounding so hard it was ridiculous. I really am an idiotic fangirl – I always get so starstruck. Though let’s face it; I never ever thought I’d ever get to see a Whose Line show live. And boy, was it fucking amazing! We got a fabulous mix of our favourite games – Freeze Tag, New Choice, Song To An Audience Member, Styles, Jeopardy, Whose Line, Moving People, Sound FX, Greatest Hits and Fairytale.

I felt like I didn’t stop laughing – it was easily the best comedy gig I’ve ever been to (and I’ve seen some damn good comedians live too!) Like most comedy gigs, it was difficult to remember all of the best bits afterwards as there were just so many! But we did get to see a Frankenstein Ryan during a Les Mis performance, Jeff sing to an adorable old woman who hated her dog, Pok√©mon jokes, plenty of lines that made no sense (I’m a doctor, not an escalator!) and a hilarious detective from the audience who totally killed Fairytale. We even got a crazy Jeff name (Alapecia).

And as if that wasn’t awesome enough we then made the very wise decision to wait around outside afterwards… And it totally paid off. Ryan and Greg were out first. We got autographs and pictures with Greg and chatted to him for a little bit. He was real laidback and told us he actually has some tour dates in London in December! I think Sid will be pleased. I then realised that Jeff had then walked outside and started spazzing out (cue slapping Kel some more). We got autographs and I had a mini heart attack when we brushed hands. Yes, yes, I know I’m sad – let me enjoy my moment. Having a million and one pens in my bag totally worked out for this night too. I will never use that Days Inn pen again now that Jeff has used it!

We did have one where he was actually smiling, but we’re girls and we’re vain and we both preferred this one of ourselves.

We had more pictures and Jeff was even nice enough to point out that the photos wouldn’t turn out great with the light behind us, and did a little skippy sidestep to move us round to the other side. Too, too cute! (I’m glad I didn’t trip over my own feet during that move!) He was really friendly and actually knew of Birmingham! He asked us if we were into the ‘footie’ and even mentioned about ELO being from Birmingham. I managed to stay coherent enough to compliment his socks, which prompted him into modelling them for me. He was apparently having a sock-off with Greg so I asked if he’d won, which of course he had tonight.

This is about the point where I floated off up into heaven. Just look at those cheekbones…

We caught Ryan in his car to cheekily steal autographs through the window, but he didn’t seem to mind (especially since we’d already sacrificed our own opportunity to take some woman’s photo whose camera had died). Once we were out of sight we then spazzed all the way home. Our priority was sharing the news with Sid and Emi and I then spent the rest of the night in a dizzy, happy little bubble. Years old dream totally fulfilled! How am I gonna sleep after that one? Oh yes, dreams of Mr. Davis, please.

It was probably just as well that he was sitting down. I already have height issues and he’s ridiculously tall…