16/8/14 – The slowest bar crawl in the world

Woke up to the sound of seagulls, which was novel and quite nice. What wasn’t so nice was having the fire alarm go off after we’d just settled down for the night. It went off a few times then stopped, but the light still kept flashing red so we weren’t sure if it was a fault or not. We didn’t really want to go running down three flights of stairs if it was a false alarm with all our belongings still in the room, especially seeing as we were both in our pyjamas by that point. And my pyjamas are really short too! So I stuck my head out the door to see if anyone else knew what was going on. It was pretty hilarious because everyone else was doing the same thing – down both ends of the corridor I could just see heads poking out from every doorway. Of course I found it hysterical and couldn’t take the situation seriously after that. Thankfully it turned out to be a false alarm anyway.

Anyway, we set an alarm so that we could be up in time for our free breakfast. Felt like we were back in America! No waffles though, sadly. I had scrambled eggs, fried bread, sausage, bacon and beans. I also had a bowl of mangoes (or apricots or peaches or whatever they were) with some Greek yoghurt, then more yoghurt with some jam. I thought the yoghurt was a very nice touch! We chilled in the room for a little bit to let our food go down and rang Mom to tell her about the fire alarm drama.

We then went down to the spa and alternated between the pool and the sauna for an hour. Did quite a few lengths too, go me – working off those two buffets! Come back to the room again to shower and had a cheeky VS whilst waiting for my hair to dry. Got ready and went to move my car to renew our parking ticket, then went to the chippy over the road. The idea of having fish and chips by the harbour was nowhere near as nice as I thought it’d be after my fish turned out to practically still have a tail under the batter. I lost half of it just trying to get rid of the skin. I can’t eat anything with scales – just looking at it makes me want to vom.

The nicer side of my very disappointing fish and chips. The other half was very dark grey.

The nicer side of my very disappointing fish and chips. The other half was very dark grey.

But at least there was water back in the harbour again. Float, boaties, float!

But at least there was water back in the harbour again. Float, boaties, float!

After food we had a wander up and down both sides of the harbour. It turned out that of all the weekends we could have picked for our break we chose the one when the Folkestone Harbour Festival was going on. Trust us. We found the beach and collected some funky stones to take home. Souvenirs, yo. I bought a little shell turtle from the shell shop too. He’s very dapper with his green hat and little specs – I’ve called him Toulouse. Because I’m lame like that. We got some ice creams and sat and watched the dancing fountains for a bit. My ice cream was sooo good. It was soft Mr. Whippy style but it tasted like proper Cornish ice cream. I was given a giant stack of it on my cone too. Best of everything!

Wehit a few pubs afterwards. Had a pint of dark fruit Strongbow in The True Briton and a Kopparberg in The Royal George. Spent close to an hour in each place. Such a lazy bar crawl…

What ho, can you tell we're British?

What ho, can you tell we’re British?

We then walked up to a Chinese and, like the fatties that we are, ordered a ridiculous amount of food in order to qualify for a free portion of a £4 item. We had Vietnamese spring rolls, prawn toast, salt and pepper chicken wings, chicken chowmein, fried rice, crispy chilli beef, chips, curry sauce and prawn crackers. So much fat. We brought the food back to our room and watched the Ouran outtakes whilst we ate. I finished all of my half except for a bit of rice, which I might have later. I’m gonna have to swim the channel now if I want to work all THAT off.

Somewhere along the line we turned into those two black women from Gogglebox...

Somewhere along the line we turned into those two black women from Gogglebox…

Since we were so full of food we didn’t really want to do anything else. Tried to get on with some writing to make the most of the free time, but Kel distracted me with a countdown of top TV villains. Think I need to talk to them about their choices – they didn’t have Slade on there, boooo. Accompanied all of this with another VS and my first ever white wine spritzer. Fancy! I actually can’t stand wine, but the lemonade kinda neutralises the vinegar effect. From then on it was just a very lazy wind-down till bed. Lovely!

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