26/6/14 – Where myth comes true

Up at eight and already dying from heat in the room. Thirty-six degrees today – even hotter than yesterday. We really picked the best day to go to a water park. Not. Thankfully our bus stop was only across a few roads and, even better, our minibus was fully air conditioned. It didn’t take too long to get to Water City and it was clearly at the coolest it was going to get, so we decided to hit the more popular slides straightaway that were likely to have bigger queues later on. Before going through we randomly heard PJ and Duncan’s “Let’s Get Ready To Rhumble” in the main shop. What a way to start the day!

We seemed to be first on some of the slides. We wanted to do the Crazy River first, which we all remembered liking the last time we were here. We had to go to the bottom to get tubes before going on the slide and it seemed silly to just walk downhill, so we got the multi-racing slides to the bottom instead. I won! (I also won the second time we went on them later on, but it scraged all the back of my shoulder for my trouble). The Crazy River was still just as fun though. There were people on guard at each mini pool in between the rapid slides to help move you along, since tubes are difficult to steer. At one point I even had a woman go “give me your leg!” Only just met you, but alright…

Some of the slides required double tubes so we had to alternate over who got to be on their lonesome. I went on the half-pipe twice, first with Kel and then with Mel. Trying to get out of a tube in only two inches of water is a lot more difficult than it sounds and definitely not graceful. We had a few goes on the fishbowl and then all got stuck in the bowl together on our last try (me and Kel were still stuck in there when Mel decided to pop in on her turn). We tried out both black holes – both were ridiculously hot inside – an open white slide that tried to steal my sunglasses and the bigger racing slides that you go down on tubes (we did those a few times because they were super fun!)

I tried too hard to even up the tan on my back and ended up burning it, either on the Lazy River or what we called the doss pool, where we’d been chilling in our tubes. We had some fun jumping waves in the wave pool later on, though I hadn’t had much fun in there earlier when I’d tried out the zip wire. It seriously hurt my boobs when I hit the water. I don’t know if it was trying to suggest my boobs were too big or what, because I didn’t even go chest-first. Rude.

As much as I love water parks though there’s definitely a few cons to it. First is that you obviously have to go uphill to the tops of all the slides. I was bloody knackered by the end of the day – they’re seriously steep hills too! Second is that the floor gets way too hot. Can’t wear shoes because you’re not allowed them on the slides. Are you willing to leave them at the top of the slide and then walk back up the stupidly steep hill again afterwards just to get them? No thanks. That leaves having to try and run between bits of shade and wet patches. The no shoes issue also had me step on a wasp. Like it wasn’t already painful enough to walk on the hot floor. I also feel like I should invest in a swimming costume just for water parks. I only own bikinis and bikinis really aren’t ideal for water parks. As well as the frequent wedgie issues that everyone gets (even if they pretend they don’t) you also run the risk of the water trying to take your top off when exiting slides at high speeds. Unfortunately this happened to me twice today.

We did have a really great time though – we were just wiped out by the end of it. (The entry title was the park’s motto by the way; I haven’t just suddenly gone all Greek tragedy). I had a very expensive Red Bull as we left, but I didn’t care. I enjoy Red Bull at any time, but some days when it’s too hot and/or you’ve been going non-stop it feels like the goddamn elixir of life. This was one of those days. Mel grabbed a leaflet for Dinosauria as we left. We’d passed it on the way and it only looked small, but according to the leaflet it boasted a 5D film. None of us knew what a 5D film was. I reckoned it was where you get a part in it.

Got back to the apartments and somehow managed to pull something in my leg just by walking through the door. Though at least it was the same leg as my foot that already hurt, so I wouldn’t have to hobble on both. Had another Red Bull in the apartment so that I could enjoy this one more, rather than just glugging it like the last. After getting ready we had a cocktail at the bar and Skyped the oldies for a bit. Also watched some of the America v. Germany match. America are through the groups, wooo! (My team in the sweeps at work).

Went to the Robin Hood for food and instantly loved both the music choices and the fact that our waitress looked exactly like a shorter Miranda Hart (only the Northern version). At one point they randomly started playing Band Aid, which made us have a “what the fuck” moment, and our waitress was just like, “Merry Christmas!” My god, she really is a Miranda clone. I had quite possibly the best cheesy garlic bread I’ve ever had, followed by a very British toad in the hole which I just couldn’t finish. Definitely not the best food when it’s this hot. Attempted to cool down with a Sea Breeze, then a Strawberry Daiquiri. In very British fashion we did a pub quiz whilst we were there (and did okayish at it) and a game of some anti-bingo. I even came second at that! It involved standing up though and I was eager to lose so that I could sit down, since my leg was really hurting again. Feck knows what I’ve even done to it.

Didn’t do any bars this time because Mel wanted to shop instead. I was quite horrified to get attacked by a butterfly at the back of a shop. Inside! At eleven o’clock! Crazy-ass butterfly. I then wasn’t very impressed to have to walk up yet another fucking hill on the way back. I’d have rather took my chances with the scary alley. Leg was really hurting when we got back so I consoled myself with painkillers and a Kiwi Cooler. I feel the alcohol probably helped more.

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